Angel May Laugh
by Scissorman13
Summary: The ultimate parody of the action series Devil May Cry. Dante's twin brother must battle evil and make sure he delivers on time!


ANGEL MAY LAUGH  
  
What happened DURING Devil May Cry  
  
Cast of characters:  
  
Dainty-Dante's GOOD twin brother  
  
Trisha-A young depressed female who comes to Dainty for help  
  
Fungus-The evil entity  
  
Cameo's by:  
  
Dante-Hero of Devil May Cry, Dainty's twin brother  
  
Sparda-Father of Dante and Dainty, the legendary demon knight  
  
Written by FinalFightGuy  
  
Author's note:  
  
I know what you're thinking. What the hell is this?! I would expect something like this from the author of First Fight. I came up with this idea one day when me and one of my friends were thinking up alternate names for videogames. When Devil May Cry was brought up, the first thing that popped into our heads was Angel May Laugh. A couple of years later, I drew a few pictures of what a parody like this would be like. I was just going to have Dante make a comeback but he would be holy this time. Then I got the crazy idea to just make it an entirely different character and bend the Devil May Cry universe around a bit. I just thought of the name Dante and made something completely opposite, Dainty. Dante was meaning something close to evil and demons, and Dainty meaning innocent and gentle. He wears the exact same clothing as Dante, but instead of red and black, he wears white and blue. The rest of Dainty in detail will be explained throughout the story. Fans of my First Fight series will definitely like this one. Anyways, sit back and enjoy the twisted and hilarious world of Angel May Laugh!  
  
Two millenniums ago, there was a war between the human world and the other, the underworld. But somebody from the underworld woke up to justice and stood up against this legion…..alone. His name was Sparda. Later, he quietly reigned the human world and continued to preserve harmony, until his death. He became a legend. The legendary Dark Knight, Sparda.  
  
Contrary to what others believe, Sparda had TWO sons instead of just one. The first was Dante. Dante was half human, half devil. He was also very calm and cool, he was one of those who never asked questions, just did his business. He ran a bounty hunting business known as The Devil May Cry. He only took the strangest jobs, and he didn't care if he was paid for it or not. Dante would go on to fulfill his destiny by challenging the greatest of evils, Mundus. He would become a legend just like his father.  
  
Sparda's second son is questionable. His name was Dainty. Unlike Dante, who was the darker and more cool side of the family, Dainty was a peace loving gentleman. He ran a flower and gift delivery shop known as The Angel May Laugh. He was loved by everyone that came across him in the city, and was considered a hero to many because he always helped out. Sparda had quickly disowned his happier son, and Dante kept little to no contact at all with him. But Dainty did not care, as long as he was happy with what he was doing and the people he was helping were happy with that……he was happy.  
  
However, things were about to change for young Dainty. He is about to embark on a long and perilous journey where he will encounter many dangers. Dainty will have to realize his destiny and prove that he is the son of the legendary Dark Knight Sparda. That is…….if someone can convince him to do it…..  
  
Chapter One: The number one GOOD-Ass  
  
Somewhere, someplace, sometime…..  
  
*It was a dark night outside the Devil May Cry building. Dante was leaning back in his chair, bored out of his mind. His phone suddenly rings.*  
  
Dante-Eh?  
  
*He reaches over and picks up the receiver.*  
  
Dante-Devil May Cry.  
  
Female voice-I just want to let you know that in a few minutes I am going to be driving through your door on a motorcycle and I plan to impale you with your own sword.  
  
Dante-As long as you clean it up.  
  
*Dante hangs up. He leans back again in his chair and relaxes. After a few moments, his phone rings again. He reaches forward and picks it up.*  
  
Dante-Devil May Cry.  
  
Fruity voice-I never liked that name ya know!  
  
*Dante freezes and grinds his teeth together.*  
  
Dante-Dainty….  
  
Dainty-Correct! Wow I like, can't believe you remembered me! You never remember anything! Even your own brother!  
  
Dante-I just try not to remember you….  
  
Dainty-Hahaha! You're such a silly goose!  
  
Dante-I hate it when you call me that….  
  
Dainty-Anyways, how is the icky yucky bad guy killing shop going?  
  
Dante-It's called the Devil May Cry, and it's going well…  
  
Dainty-Super!  
  
Dante-And how is the…..uggghhh…..flower shop?  
  
Dainty-You mean the Angel May Laugh? It's never been better! Of course that's like, every day!  
  
Dante-Yeah yeah yeah, well I am a little busy right now little brother, so I will have to let you go, like now….  
  
Dainty-Okie dokey! Talk to ya later big brother! B----  
  
*Dante hangs up before he can even finish. He leans forward in his chair and sighs.*  
  
Dante-That boy is a disgrace…  
  
*Dante's phone rings again. He picks it up.*  
  
Dante-Devil May Cry. No I'm sorry, we closed at 9…..  
  
Somewhere else…..  
  
*It was a bright shining day at the Angel May Laugh. Birds sang their beautiful melodies, the grass glistened with its healthy green, and people walked the streets happily without a fear in the world. A young man was outside the Angel May Laugh, watering the flowers that always seemed to stay full of life. This young man was Dainty, the happier half of the Sparda twins. He hummed a lovely tune to himself as he pranced back and forth from plant to plant.*  
  
Dainty-Oh what a LOVELY day this is! Not only did I get to talk to my FAAAAAAAVORITE brother in the whole world, but the sun could never be brighter, and the people could never be happier!!! Oh my, this is a joyous day indeed!  
  
*Suddenly, from behind Dainty, the phone rang.*  
  
Dainty-Hmmmm? Oh dear me! That must be the telephone! It must be my lonely depressed twin sibling calling to apologize for hanging up on me!  
  
*Dainty skipped over to the telephone and picked up the receiver.*  
  
Dainty-Thank you for calling the Angel May Laugh, where out motto is forget-us-not! Teehee! Little flower joke there! This is Dainty, how may I help you?  
  
Voice-Is your establishment insured?  
  
Dainty-Well of course it is! Why do you ask?  
  
Voice-Just wondering.  
  
*The person hangs up. Dainty shrugs and puts the phone back. It then rings one more time.*  
  
Dainty-Thank you for calling the Angel May Laugh! For the last time, Mr. Cody, we DO NOT SELL venus fly traps! Geez! You sound like your still in junior high!  
  
*Dainty hangs up the phone. He pauses for a moment when he hears what sounds like a bell. He looks out one of the windows a sees a young woman on a bicycle riding at an insane speed straight towards his shop.*  
  
Dainty-Hey! Hey you! Stop or you'll hurt yourself!  
  
*The woman keeps riding towards Dainty even faster. Dainty stretches both of his arms out towards the woman and waves his hands to try and stop her.*  
  
Dainty-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…….  
  
*Dainty looks at his watch.*  
  
Dainty-…..OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO………  
  
*The woman is still moving closer. Even she is wondering why this is taking so long.*  
  
Dainty-…..OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
*The woman then notices that the repeating background is going.*  
  
Woman-What the hell is this?! Scooby-Doo?!?!  
  
*The background finally continues and she darts toward Dainty on her bike. She rears back and makes the bike make a flying leap into the air.*  
  
Dainty-WAIT!! DON'T DO IT!!!  
  
*Before he can finish, she reaches his window, but she just hits it with a loud "thud" and falls to the ground.*  
  
Dainty-I knew having those windows reinforced would pay off someday!  
  
*The woman lays on the ground with a big red mark on her face from where it smacked against the window. She wakes up and sees Dainty standing above her.*  
  
Dainty-Are you alright miss?  
  
*She leaps up from her laying position onto her feet.*  
  
Dainty-Look, if you needed to use the bathroom THAT BADLY, you could have just come through the front door! It's only in the back room for pete's sake! Mr. Cranky must have crept up on you early this month!  
  
*She gives Dainty a sour look.*  
  
Woman-You're the man who will take any floral delivery job no matter how dangerous it is, am I right?  
  
Dainty-All depends on where you want it delivered. I won't deliver to fanfiction.net, they are bad about delays….(PUT UP MY REQUESTED SECTIONS DAMNIT!!!)  
  
Woman-No, this one is to a….SPECIAL place….  
  
Dainty-Well here, as a little gift from my inner gentleman…  
  
*Dainty hands the woman a freshly picked rose from a vase sitting on his desk.*  
  
Woman-Oh really? Well.....that's TOO kind of you!  
  
*The woman suddenly grabs Dainty's hand and flings him against a wall. She then takes the rose he gave her and flings it at him. It just hits his chest and falls to the ground. Dainty looks up at her with a confused look on his face.*  
  
Dainty-Ummmmm, might I ask where you are trying to get with this?  
  
Woman-Damn! How does it work so well when my friend does it??!  
  
Dainty-Well studies show that things that sharp pointy things hurt when you hit people with them…..  
  
Woman-……….THATS what I've been doing wrong!  
  
*Dainty sighs and stands back up on his feet.*   
  
Dainty-Look, did you come to my shop to childishly try to destroy everything and throw me around, or to give me a possible delivery job?  
  
Woman-Oh yeah, sorry. My name is Trisha, and I have come with a very special job for you. You see, I need you to make a delivery to a castle out there somewhere.  
  
(Authors note: Seeing as that Devil May Cry never gave ANY locations whatsoever, every location will be referred to as "someplace" or "somewhere". Mostly for humorous values, but you probably already knew that, didn't you?)  
  
Dainty-How far is somewhere?  
  
Trisha-Pretty far.  
  
Dainty-Can you give me an estimate?  
  
Trisha-Look buddy, Capcom didn't hire me to give you road maps and distances. They just sent me here to give you the job and act badly while doing so!  
  
Dainty-Oh, cool beans!  
  
Trisha-You will need a weapon of some kind. Somewhere is a dangerous place.  
  
Dainty-Well alright….hmmmmm…..what can I use…..  
  
*Trisha looks around the room while Dainty thinks. She notices a very large sword with several engravings on the handle hung up on the wall.*  
  
Trisha-How about the groovy sword?  
  
Dainty-What? That old thing? No way! Besides, I don't like using sharp things that kill!  
  
Trisha-TAKE THE DAMN SWORD YOU FRUITY BASTARD!!!  
  
Dainty-Eep! Yes ma'am!!  
  
*Dainty runs over to the wall and grabs the sword. He feels a strange aura flowing through his body when he holds it.*  
  
Dainty-Hmmmm….drank too much Surge….  
  
*Dainty puts the sword behind him and it somehow Velcro's itself to his back (or floats, I dunno) without a sheath or anything.*  
  
Trisha-How do you do that?!  
  
Dainty-It's a trick my brother taught me!  
  
Trisha-Oh, okay….well you better get going, it's a long and perilous way to somewhere. Be careful.  
  
Dainty-No biggy! No delivery is too hard for me to handle!  
  
*Dainty starts off on his way to somewhere. Trisha snickers to herself.*  
  
Trisha-He has taken the bait master…  
  
?????-Very good. Now the other son of Sparda will suffer.  
  
*Trisha laughs again. She then sees Dainty walking back towards the shop.*  
  
Dainty-Silly me! I forgot! What kind of flowers did you want on this delivery?  
  
*Trisha almost falls over. She just throws out random names of flowers and Dainty writes them down.*  
  
Dainty-Cool beans! Well, see you later!  
  
*Dainty grabs the flowers and starts off on his way again. Little does he know that he is in for the biggest adventure of his life.*  
  
**TO BE CONTINUED** 


End file.
